It is the third week in January…and you know what that means? Most people have already given up on their New Year’s Resolutions! It sounds crazy that after such a short time people would have already given up, but I understand…I am all ready feeling the enormity of my goals and the excitement has worn off from the new year high, and now the day to day grind has set in…I decided I needed to do some mindset work around goal setting, and I turned to some tried and true resources: You are a Badass, Nataliebacon.com and unfuckyourbrain.com.
What I learned from these amazing coaches and what I have compiled here is the three key shifts around goals that you need to implement to actually stick it out and get what you want:
- You have to understand your mindset
- You have to visualize who you will become
- You have to let go of your current identity
1. Understand your Mindset:
When you look at your goal you first need to identify what is fueling this goal? What need, want, or desire? When you are motivated by fear, stress, or lack you will fail. You need to be motivated by love, joy, excitement.
What this means: you need to be able to recognize if you are in a mindset of scarcity or of abundance.
A scarcity mindset is one of fear, insecurity, and control. Of taking things to seriously believing that if you fail the world will end. It is short sided and focused on short term decisions, instant gratification and a reactive approach to life, rather than planning ahead and trusting that waiting or missing something now will pay off long term.
An abundance mindset comes from a place of trust and acceptance, and a deep sense of inner worth and security. An abundant mindset takes a pro-active approach to life. A person with an abundance mindset understands that there is more than enough love, time, money, happiness etc. to share and does so freely and happily, rejoicing in other’s accomplishments and giving of their love, time, money, happiness, etc. openly and with joy.
Identify what you think about when you think about your goal- what is the main emotion you feel when you take action and when you think about and do your goal activities.
If it is stress, lack, and scarcity- the energy driving you to fuel your goal- that is what you will create more of. If it is excitement, joy, and commitment- that is what you will create more of.
How to fix this
First, identify the emotion fueling the action driving you to complete the goal. Figure out why you feel this way and then ask: is this serving me? What do I want to feel instead?
Second, identify if those emotions are coming form a place of abundance or scarcity. If they are coming from scarcity you need to make new, abundant emotions to fuel your goal. Ask yourself: what thoughts do I need to think to create those emotions? What does it feel like to love my goal? What does it feel like to be in abundance? Abundant emotions will be hard at first, but you need to practice. The best place to start is with feeling love and commitment for your goal.
Next check out my post all about abundance
AND
Check out this post all about Goal Fuel
2. Who you Have to Be
When trying to accomplish a goal, especially a BIG goal, you have to remember that the goal is not about the achievement or about the idea that the grass is greener on the other side of the goal, it’s about who you have to be to get the goal.
The reality is: the future only exists in your mind. You have to create the different results in your mind first, then you can get/achieve the goal.
I talk a lot about the brain and how it is messing with your life. The reason is, your brain, without you being aware, is moving you into your future by doing the things it already knows how to do-it wants to save energy and stay alive at all costs. This means taking the path of least resistance. By taking the path of least resistance your brain does what is easiest and safest: not changing; doing the same things it knows how to do; keeping you from things it perceives as threats (i.e. anything new, different, or hard).
This means you will stay stuck in your same ways of doing things unless you take the time to tell your brain something new.
How to fix this
Tell your brain a new story.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and not real, everything you tell it, your brain believes, so why not tell it a new story?
A great way to get into this mindset is by writing a one, five, or ten-year vison statement.
A vision statement is a statement written in the present tense about your life in the future. You need to create a visual that your brain can believe about the person and the life you want to have in 1, 5, 10 years. It has to be real; you have to be able to feel, taste, touch, smell, the life you want. Write about the weather, the house, the people around you. Talk about how it feels. Write about the actions and the results that got you to this future self. It has to be so crystal clear that you can picture it with your eyes close, like you have already lived it, like you are living it now.
3. Let Go of Your Current Identity
The final, and most important step. You have to give up the old self. You have to give up the identity of the person you are now. This will be hard and uncomfortable. The work is becoming the person who has (whatever your goal is) not having the thing…it’s the process. Once you become the person then you will be open to getting it.
You have to give up being the one who is broke, or single, or overweight. You have to become the person who doesn’t think about money or food or dating.
You have to become an entirely new person. You have to create entirely new thoughts, feelings, and actions. When people talk about manifesting or attracting, this is what people mean: you have to become the person first and then you will receive it.
You have to practice having thoughts and feelings that the person who already has your goal would have. You have to work on your goals, not from who and where you are right now, but from who and where you want to be. You need to be, think, and feel as if you already have the result. Then you’ll take action from that place and create the result.
“If something you want is slow to come to you, it can be for only one reason: You are spending more time focused upon its absence than you are about its presence.”
Abraham Hicks
How to fix this
Create a To Be or Not To Be List (hahaha Hamlet anyone?) What I mean is: create a list of the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the person who already has the goal/life you want. Then create a list of all the thoughts, feelings, and actions you have right now that are not in alignment with these new thoughts, feelings, and actions…and then release them.
Easier said than done. I suggest you spend some time each week on this, write a new To Be or Not To Be list each week before you write a goal To-Do list. Keep it in the front of your mind. Read your one, five, or ten year vision statement weekly or daily for that matter. The more time you spend in the state of being the person who already has what you want, the sooner you will manifest that life.
Disclaimer: I needed some serious help in this department so I made myself a To Be or Not To Be worksheet to walk myself through the process. Click here to get a copy for yourself.
Don’t be discourage if you have been trying for a long time to achieve your goals and feel stuck. Know that whatever version of your life you want IS available to you. You just need to create the proper headspace to be able to do the necessary work to get there!
Be Gutsy! You’ve got this!
And if you are serious about achieving your goals you are going to need some accountability help! And guess what?
I help Gutsy women just like you achieve their goals with confidence and ease in as little as 3 months!
So why not hop on a call with me and figure out once and for all what is causing you to fall short on your goals and what to do about it?
Here are some amazing resources for your goal setting journey
Limiting Beliefs-plus Free Worksheet
Identify the Emotion Fueling Your Goal
Amanda, your insights on goal-setting are a breath of fresh air! Understanding mindset, visualizing your future self, and shedding your current identity are powerful shifts. Your practical steps and the “To Be or Not To Be” list offer valuable guidance. Here’s to embracing a gutsy journey!
Thank you! I am so glad that it has resonated with you!